Bloodlust.

I had such a bad week that I am totally exhausted mind, body and soul. Nothing has gone right. And in the end, I got so fed up, so upset that I engaged in some retail therapy that only made me even more guilty afterwards. To curb my spending, guess what ridiculous thing I did. Sigh, I deliberately put myself into a pair of heels I knew would hurt my feet so bad, I couldn’t possibly do serious damage to my bank balance. That aside, WoW was a serious letdown this week as well. I’m half wanting to take a seriously long long long break again.

Raid night Friday came and went with me screwing up Northrend Beasts so bad, I decided to drop the raid after that. I virtually did everything wrong. Like, I forgot to flask, I forgot my haste food, I forgot to set clique up, I forgot to get out of my BG/Arena UI.. I basically was next to being AFK in raid that night. Wonder wth was wrong with me really. When on the 3rd attempt, I managed to die on Phase 2 and got auto-released from my BG UI, I dropped from the raid to reset it. What went wrong was that I got re-invited back in afterwards with them managing to actually down the boss. Despite being outside the instance, I got bloody saved. I went in, got my badges, glanced at the loot ( nice wand btw), and told them I’m not in the mood and left.

I felt bad really for dumping my regulars, but I wasn’t about to wipe them more later on. People kept bugging me to roll on the wand, but I flatly refused. See, I don’t roll on loot if I feel I don’t deserve it. Plus, equipping it will only remind me of my failure everytime I use it; that’s just insulting. Couldn’t believe my tank got my bf to roll on my behalf. Anyways, I got screamed at by said bf for dumping the raid etc. C’mon, it’s not like I didn’t know there was a replacement available even if I left. Besides, I just wasted my instance save for something I had no part in at all. Sometimes, I really hate that my bf plays WoW too, and he plays it with me. It’s hard to not bring the frustrations and anger in the RL with him into WoW. I hate that it’s our link; that it’s the one thing that keeps us together. And by saying ‘together’, I have no idea what that together even means anymore.

I went on to get into AV to slaughter some alliance for sanity’s sake. My MT later on /w me to say they downed the 2nd boss 1 shot, and to comfort me. Sometimes, I realise how much my tanks pamper me; and I’m truly grateful for that. It’s probably why I don’t fancy raiding guilds; I don’t get to choose my tanks. Even my bf didn’t bother to comfort me; somehow, the closer people are, the more unforgiving and accusing they become. I’m not sure if I’m tired of WoW yet. I’ve spent most of the week inside BGs rather than instances because my mood was so fiery, it kinda scorched everyone who ventured too near. Like, I yelled at a PuG tank last night because the retard stood inside a Descecrate on P3 of Black Knight in ToC. Like, I yelled at the bunch of idiots in WSG who stood there PvP-ing their asses off while the flag-carrier skipped his way ACROSS the fray to a quick cap. Seriously, is it me or is it them itching for insults to be hurled their way?.

Week’s over. Hope the incoming one will be better, but I seriously doubt.

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~ by sparklefreeze on August 31, 2009.

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